There are days when the sadness just overwhelms me and every little tiny thing makes me feel either sad or mad. Those are the days that I just don’t want to be around anybody. I need peace and quiet that just does not happen at my house. I try to get to a quiet place and am followed by at least two little feet wanting a piece of me. “What is for dinner?” “I’m bored! What can I do?” or just the proverbial noise that comes out of my 4 and 6 year old. The only time they are not making a ton of noise or getting into something is when they are asleep.
Then I am reminded of why my day is going so bad. I didn’t begin my day by spending any time with my creator.
A poem called “I didn’t have time” really sums it up. http://unsolvedmysteries.com/usm38250.html
We wake up in the morning forgetting about God and trying to live a life apart from Him. I don’t pray to Him or spend any time in His word and then I wonder why my life seems like it is spinning out of control.
How can I show God’s love to anyone when I am so far away from Him? I spend my days running around spinning my wheels, on the computer, cleaning my house or watching TV. I sometimes feel like I just don’t have the time to spend but in reality I am spending my time unwisely.
If I want to have a relationship with my husband or children or a friend, how long would that relationship last if I didn’t want to ever spend time with them or talk to them? Wouldn’t our bond be broken if I consistently did things that I knew would be a disappointment to them? If the answer is yes (and it is) then why is it that the one I claim to love the most is the one that I forget all too often and I act in a manner that brings displeasure to Him?
This continuous theme in my life needs to be changed. God has already done His part and promises - 1 john 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I am thinking . . maybe I need to get on my knees and do some confessing. Not for His sake but for mine.